


"Spooky Action At A Distance"

by ym4yum1



Series: Too busy... thinking about you... [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Avengers (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Numb3rs reference, Post Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Romance, pre Avengers: Age of Ultron, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-13 23:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3399884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ym4yum1/pseuds/ym4yum1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>Sequel to 'The Promise of Spring'. </strong>
</p><p>While facing the possibility of total annihilation under Ultron's wrath, Steve Rogers realized that finding out Bucky Barnes alive wasn't the biggest surprise after all. Now, would Cap risk the most important person's life to save the world? Between Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Avengers: Age of Ultron. Romanogers!</p><p>"Quantum entanglement… it's a theory that holds that photons come in pairs that are separated by space and time, but always in instantaneous, inexplicable communication. Einstein calls it 'spooky action at a distance'. I find the notion fairly romantic. I mean, we affect each other. Even when we don't mean to, even when we don't want to, we're connected, even when we try to be unaffected."</p><p>(Larry Fleinhardt, 2005 TV show Numb3rs, Episode 2x02)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines and context from Marvel Movies, TV Shows, Cartoons & Comics.

One of the most alarming developments of the Hydra uprising was the chaos generated in world security. After the infamous S.H.I.E.L.D. Civil War, the agency was labeled a terrorist organization, and its remaining loyal agents were subjected to severe investigation by the U.S. authorities. Meanwhile, continuing its plan for world domination, Hydra raided a secret detainment and storage facility called the Fridge, liberating dangerous inmates, and taking possession of powerful weapons. Suddenly, super-villains activities were reported everywhere.

The Avengers were called to assemble a task force to capture the fugitives and restore order.

Over the next several months, the superheroes fought around the world, disbanding Hydra criminal operations, unmasking connections with other secret organizations, like the old KGB Academy Red Room. Even with the valuable help of James Rhodes, Sam Wilson, and Maria Hill, who was now working for Stark Industries, the Earth's Mightiest Heroes were exhausted, while learning first-hand what Captain America had faced in the past – Hydra seemed unstoppable. ' _Cut off one head, two more shall take its place_.'

The world was at stake, and all personal matters had to be postponed.

Dragged out on mission after mission, Steve and Natasha didn't have any time to deal with their not yet established relationship. Most of the time working separated, their well-oiled partnership seemed somehow estranged. No matter how much the soldier tried, the spy kept her distance, and he missed her… a lot. More than he could have ever imagined he would. Unbeknownst to him, with a lot of her dark past exposed, the Black Widow was doubting herself as a hero, and more than ever, Natasha Romanoff couldn't deem herself to be worthy of someone like Steve Rogers.

With so many things to worry about at once, the Captain kept his mind focused on the mission ahead of him, working non-stop. In a twist of destiny, after breaking into a Hydra storage facility in London, he was surprised to see the Winter Soldier fighting a giant sleeper robot. Steve had tried to keep track of his best friend's path for a while, and was hoping to have time to look for him again, soon. Without hesitation, Captain America and Bucky fought side-by-side in perfect synchrony, saving each other's lives, and ultimately defeating the almost indestructible killing machine.

Steve was exultant, "We did it, Bucky! Just like the… old days…" but looking around, he didn't see his friend anywhere and sighed disappointed, "Damn it, Buck… you don't have to run… not anymore…"

Engaged in his own search for answers about his lost, tragic past, James Barnes was still drowning in his desire for revenge. Still not sure about who and what he was, he wasn't ready to face his always noble and righteous childhood friend.

Before leaving the installation, the Captain found a note inside a box with old documents, and recognized his friend's calligraphy. ' _I'm sorry_.' The top file drew his immediate attention, as it was very sensitive and close to Steve's heart – Natalia Alianovna Romanova's KGB file. For the size of it, it had more information than anyone ever imagined. This dossier was too important, and more than a valid reason for Steve to call Natasha.

It was time to go back home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Ref** : TV Series: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013-2014) – S.H.I.E.L.D. Civil War.
> 
> **Ref** : Comics: Captain America Vol 5 #21 (2006) – [Steve] The other sleepers had artificial intelligences. (… ) We did it, Bucky. Just like the… old days… Damn it, Buck… you don't have to run… not anymore…


	2. Are you ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird how some things just happen. It wasn't on purpose, but the title's acronym is SAAAD or SA3D. No doubt, this is the saddest piece I've ever written, and I don't even like to read drama. That's because real life is too complicated already, and here is my place to have fun, joy, and happy endings. But it's impossible to write about Natasha's past without being sad… Sorry for the tears…

.

* * *

**Are you sure you're ready to see you as you really are?**

* * *

.

One of the most difficult things while dating a teammate was to keep their private lives apart from the work environment. Unfortunately, being a known superhero would only make everything much harder. Despite their extensive expertise in the field, emotionally, the soldier and the spy were both relatively inexperienced… and very stubborn.

Eager to please her, Steve was doing his best respect her privacy and limits, but all his grasp of humanity was useless with the one woman who held his heart captive – next to her, he felt and acted like the shy kid from Brooklyn. On the other hand, Captain America had always put himself last, and wearing the flag colors in a new uniform, he took the responsibility to stop Hydra – he couldn't fail this time. The living symbol of freedom and justice was great at giving, but not so good in receiving any kind of help. No surprise he was always feeling exhausted.

A professed shady loner, Natasha wasn't comfortable yet being in a relationship with the perfect man, even in secret. To make things worse, without her covers, her super-spy's actions had been compromised. Focusing her unparalleled computer hacking skills on gathering information, she started to rebuild S.H.I.E.L.D. intelligence databases at the new Avengers Headquarters – financed and assembled by Tony at his former Stark Tower. Black Widow's precise tactics assessments, and updated intel about good and bad operatives, were imperative for their success in thwarting Hydra's progress. Still, it didn't feel like it was enough. She missed the action and her partner… her Captain.

Two supposedly opposite people, the complex couple was too proud to acknowledge the singular commonality between them – both his noble altruism and her snarky aloofness were solid walls that they had put up. Underneath their somewhat inflamed arguments, they had the same need for each other. But due to emergency calls, they had gone separate ways, before realizing it… before making up.

* * *

**Avengers Tower.**

It has been a few months since they last saw each other, and it felt like forever. They kept sporadic contact through secure lines, but the distance was hurting them both.

As soon as Natasha read the reports about the Winter Soldier's appearance, she knew that Steve would've been deeply affected by the unexpected encounter. The spy was already waiting when the Aven-jet dropped the soldier on the rooftop, and complained, "You were supposed to call for backup."

"I didn't need it," he replied almost dryly, trying to mask his anxiety. As much as he wanted to kiss her passionately, the fear of rejection was much more terrifying.

They walked to his quarters in an awkward silence, while she observed him closely. Although he had been cleaned and patched up at a medical facility, he was in a bad shape, and her voice softened, "You're wounded again."

The Captain shook his head, but he didn't say anything, waiting, hoping… for any indication of her mood.

"So what are we now? A one man army?" she was clearly upset, "You look like hell."

"You're sounding like Fury. He sent regards, by the way," Steve chuckled shyly, laying his bags on the floor, before turning to face her. Eying her outfit, basic blue jeans and a white button blouse over a dark red tank top, he noticed the colors – his colors – and that was definitely a good sign. "You look beautiful," he smiled coyly, flashing his puppy-dog eyes.

Looking down slowly, a soft pink color covered her cheeks as she smirked, "You're impossible." Getting close, she cupped his face, looking for any other signs of stress. "I'm serious. Have you been sleeping well?"

Since they had been partnered together, Captain America and Black Widow never cared about personal spaces whatsoever. The hero wouldn't hesitate to grab her, carrying her around, whenever he needed to save her life. And the always independent spy had accepted his protection – something she had never done with any other man. Beneath Natasha's trust in Steve's chivalrous manners, there was their mutual attraction, drawing them to be closer, from the start. After becoming a real couple, any simple touch would have a whole new meaning, evoking memories of their intense shared passion.

All it took was this one single gesture, to turn the powerful super-soldier to mush in her caring hands. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he blushed, confessing, "Not without you…"

The gorgeous super-spy, who hadn't minded bending any man – but never him – found herself melting completely, in front of his exposed vulnerability and irresistible boyish smile. Resting her head on his welcoming chest, she whispered, "I'm here."

They held each other tightly, both in need of that intimate contact. In the warmth of their embrace, their hearts were beating in unison. The connection between them was too strong to be denied, and any previous disagreement seemed foolish.

Raising her eyes to meet his, she spoke gently, "Things have been strained between us lately, and I…"

"I'm really sorry," he offered sincerely.

"Me too," she smiled, before placing a soft peck on his lips.

The look on his face was now one with joy and relief, but on the phone, he had sounded beyond worried. She knew him too well, so she asked, "Where's the top secret file you want me to look at?"

Taking a sharp breath, he invited, "Want some pizza, first? I asked JARVIS to order your favorites."

"I thought you didn't need lame excuses to find yourself a date," she teased, walking to the kitchen.

"I wanted to talk. You only return my calls if you smell a fight," he replied playfully.

"Now you're the one using Nick's lines," she laughed, before grabbing a slice of pizza, and started nibbling, "Um, it's delicious!"

They sat on the couch, and she rested her head on his shoulder. They ate quietly, drinking a few beers, enjoying the peace and calmness of their reunion. He finished the last one of the four pizza boxes, and sighed, "Nothing like home."

They looked at each other, and she knew he was ready, so she asked, "Do you wanna tell me what happened there?" The reports had been strictly business, but for his somber semblance, it was clear that there was a lot more he wouldn't tell anyone.

Natasha squeezed his hand gently, and he started to tell her everything about meeting his oldest partner. "We fought like in the old days. It was… it was good. It felt normal… right. He's still the same Bucky underneath. But he disappeared… before we had a chance to talk."

Since Steve had read the Winter Soldier's file, getting to know about the sadistic experiments that Bucky had been submitted to, the burden of his many years fell upon him harder than that military bunker. The Captain blamed himself for his best friend's tragic fate.

"They messed him up badly. None of that was your fault," she tried.

"You keep saying this. I wish I could believe it," his voice was calm as always, but the melancholy was painfully visible.

"You can't blame yourself for everything."

Averting his eyes, he spoke dryly, "While I spent decades sleeping, Bucky was being tortured, and Hydra was growing stronger than ever." Suddenly, Zola's cruel words echoed in Steve's mind, ' _Your death amounts to the same as your life, a zero sum._ ' The expression on the soldier's face was pure guilt, "Zola was right."

"The hell he was," she answered quickly, remembering that tragic day, before replying with a soft smile, "Now you're being a little dramatic, don't you think?"

Surprised by hearing Natasha using the same words as Peggy, he chuckled, "No. Okay… But, it's not that… it's…" He stopped, devastated. The same Red Room that created the Winter Soldier, was responsible for the Black Widow program. Could he have made any difference if he was alive? Could he have prevented anything?

"What's burning you?" she raised an eyebrow, "Don't you trust me?"

He sighed heavily, "I trust you with my life."

Slipping her lean fingers between his strong ones, she entwined their hands in a sweet familiar gesture, and pushed, "So tell me."

"I love you."

The words slipped from his mouth, coming directly from his heart, before his mind even realized he needed to say them. Their eyes locked together, and her surprise matched his own.

"I'm sorry… I wasn't planning to say it like this…" he held her hand firmly, afraid that she might go away. "I didn't mean to pressure you, but… you said before, I'm a terrible liar," he tried a smile, in an embarrassed attempt to lighten things up.

"You are," she said, looking down.

But once he opened his heart, he couldn't restrain himself anymore, he didn't want to. Holding both her hands in his, he started to talk non-stop, "That's the truth, Nat. All this time that we were apart, I was miserable without you…"

"Steve…"

"I missed you fighting by my side, when I was plagued by nightmares. I missed your laugh and your jokes. I missed you all the time. And then I realized it…"

"Please, stop…"

"I love you."

"No, you don't. You don't know me."

"I told you before, I don't care about your past."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe, but I'm willing to find out, if you let me."

Instantly, Natasha's suspicious levels rose up quickly, and she stared at him, asking nervously, "What did you find?"

"Let me show you." Opening his bag, he picked up his StarkPad, and displayed the photos he took of the hidden archive underneath the Hydra facility.

"Those craters were reported stolen from the K.G.B. a long time ago…" she gasped, with fully understanding of what that meant, " Боже мой!"

He showed the files inside his bag, explaining, full of concern, "The Black Widow program. I got them all, and brought for you."

Natasha's heartbeat accelerated, as she picked up her own file, "I looked everywhere for this." Motioning to leave, she replied, "I'm going…"

"I won't let you do this alone," putting his arm behind her shoulders, he caressed her forearms with his huge hands, applying a gentle massage, dwindling her already weak resistance.

Doubt, despair, she never felt so helpless. There were so many things she didn't even know about herself. And on top of that, her greatest fear was that Steve would find out. She spoke almost inaudibly, "You will hate me…"

He said firmly, "That's not possible." Cupping her face softly, he replied with all his honesty, "Trust me. Let me help you."

How could she run away, when his arms were the only place she felt absolutely safe?

"I can't lose you. Please, don't leave me…" Steve begged with a whisper, resting his forehead on hers.

Captured by his penetrating and devoted gaze, Natasha couldn't think anymore. The warmth on his breath was inviting, welcoming, and her mouth parted in an unconscious response. Sliding one arm around her back, he held her waist, steadying her, supporting her. With the other hand, he raised her chin gently, and kissed her with the most absolute delicateness. Acknowledging her powerful gentleman's touch, her body took over, reacting with pure instinct, and she kissed him with the same passion. Everything they were holding back until now, exploded free, and it was like feeling alive again. When she moaned, a soft, relaxed sound, he knew, in his heart, that he had his girl back.

Whispering between her lips, he ended the kiss, slowly, carefully, but continued holding her tightly, "God, I love you so much…"

Clinging to him, her breathing was rapid and shallow, as she tried to calm her own racing heart. Time flew by as they relished in the comfort of their embrace, neither of them wanting to let go, as if fearing to wake up from the most delightful dream.

Unfortunately, the cruel reality was waiting for them, just there, in the old documents. As much as Natasha was afraid to dredge up her dark past, Steve was by her side, being her safe ground in the present.

"Are you sure?" she asked, still uncertainty.

He nodded encouragingly, "As a team."

She took a deep breath before opening it.

Some pages she recognized, others she hadn't seen before. Nonetheless, the images were heartbreaking. Green and blue, their eyes moistened together, as they saw how young she had been, enduring things that no ten-year-old child should. With slightly trembling hands, she turned page after page, sometimes reading a few words out loud. There were lots of information about her training, skills achieved, among descriptions of fake backgrounds, like being a Bolshoi ballerina.

Everything was just… cruel.

Steve's heart was shredded by seeing her in so much pain. "I'm so sorry. Don't you want to take a break?"

Her voice was just a murmur, "If I stop now… I may not do it again…"

Kissing her salty, teary eyes, he replied tenderly. "I'm here for you."

It didn't get any better.

The data about her long-dead husband, Alexi Shostakov, detailed the arrangement plotted by General Pushkin to make her believe she was an ordinary housewife and, in sequence, a widow. She had been only seventeen. All staged to manipulate her into officially joining the K.G.B. ranks, while Alexi had become the Red Guardian.

Melancholically, she explained everything, "I didn't care for him. I never loved… him. Our marriage was based on convenience, not affection." It was her timid way to tell Steve something about her emotions. In a wordless understanding, he held her closer, into his protective arms. She felt nothing but cherished and special… as he had always made her feel, and breathed, "I never felt anything like… us…"

Caressing her face, he draw her to him, capturing her mouth in a soft, sweet kiss, before replying wholeheartedly, "Me neither."

As much as she wanted to forget the world, and get lost in his arms, she needed to finish it all. Gathering strength in his unconditional support, she proceeded.

But the worst part was yet to come. The target's photos hit her hard, while the extensive documents exalted her efficiency and precision, which had allowed her to become a top operative, at an early age. All her missions were there… her dripping, gushing red ledger. Things that were in the file S.H.I.E.L.D., and now the world, knew about: Budapest, Osaka, the children's ward… Things she had told only to Hawkeye, but Loki had discovered, after mind controlling the archer: Dreykov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire… And so much more. Every one of her successful highly secret assignments, even the ones she didn't remember at all…

Outraged, she covered her mouth with her hand, murmuring, "That's why they brainwashed me…"

And the next surveillance image took Steve by surprise – she was talking with a dark haired man, who had a metal arm. It was like being hit by a storm… a cold winter storm.

Confused, he asked, "This is… Bucky?"

"No… it can't be…" she answered, but after reading the notes, Natasha shook her head in disbelief, her voice was a mix of revolt and shock, "I knew him."

"Before he was sent to kill you?" Looking at her stressed face, Steve sadly realized it. Holding her even closer, he tried to convey all his support, pressing a tender kiss to her head.

Mortified, she pointed to the note, "His target was a former K.G.B. officer which was planning to defect, Sergei Ivanovich. But he had a daughter and he… the Winter Soldier messed up… and I helped him, taking the kid to a safe place, so he could finish the job. I couldn't let her see it… But my presence alerted his handler, Comrade Dimitri, who discovered we were…" she gasped, "Together."

The man from the 40s swelled hard. The idea that his woman had been involved with other men was very upsetting, he wouldn't lie to himself. But with his own best friend? That was the worst pain in the gut ever. Tragically, that was nothing compared to the horrors that Natasha and Bucky had been through, being both victims of these evil experiments. And after his mother, they were the two people Steve loved most in the entire world. He couldn't let Natasha down. He wouldn't.

"They… wiped us both," she continued to read, "But they didn't need to erase everything, just to implant a false memory, making me believe they were two different people. The man, as I remember, was my instructor, Yakov. We trained together for a few weeks and then I never saw him again. And I remember first hearing about the Winter Soldier before he shot me in Odessa." She sighed embarrassed, "I can't say I'm surprised. They wouldn't let a valuable asset being compromised. Besides, they needed to keep the mystery… The ghost story."

Steve's fingers tightened into a fist, and his blood was boiling. "Now I understand Bucky's quest for revenge. I want to kill those bastards myself." Looking at her, he realized he had never seen her so fragile. Trying to sound as understanding as possible, he asked calmly, "Did you have feelings for him?"

Without raising her eyes, she replied, "For Yakov? No. I was too young, too broken. Besides, we were both weapons… to be used. Killing machines don't have feelings."

"I was created to be a weapon too, don't forget that," he offered kindly.

Pausing for a moment, Natasha looked at Steve, attentively, trying to read him, before saying firmly, "I didn't lie to you. I didn't know."

"Don't worry, I know. I understand…"

But she was feeling too hurt and ashamed… to exposed. She needed an escape, and used her last strength, "You don't. Don't pretend that you do. You don't know what it's like having everything that makes you who you are strip-mined so you can be a good little slave."

This time, however, Steve read her distress signals, and held her with all his love, his voice was absolute soothing, "I won't let you shut me down. I'm really sorry, and I'm not pretending anything. I'm here for you… to the end of the line."

As she surrendered to his comforting embrace, resting her head on his chest, Alexander Pierce's words haunted her with full force, ' _Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are_?' She didn't care about the world, all she cared about was Steve's opinion. "This is who I really am," her chin quivered as she whispered, "You… hate me…"

Hugging her tighter, Steve shushed Natasha, "Don't you ever say this. I love you."

Her voice was a sad lament, "How can you? I'm a… Mонстр."

The Captain knew the basics for communication in many European languages, including Russian, so he replied firmly, "No, you are not. The monsters are the ones responsible for all this evil." Pulling her to his lap, he enfolded her with his caring arms, before placing a soft kiss on her lips, "None of that was your fault, nor Bucky's."

The hardest part was to forgive herself, "He was a robot, but I… I am a killer."

"You don't see how special you are? You were raised with nothing, but lies, and death. And look how you've changed. I don't know anyone who could've endured all that and become a force of good," he expressed his deep admiration, "We all did things we regret, but you are right, I need to stop blaming myself… so do you. None of us can change the past, and that's being human." Seeing his also watery blue eyes, she was instantly touched by the depth of his feelings, as he continued, "I think we should start focusing on our future. And the only future I want is with you."

That was the last straw. She couldn't hold so much emotion at once, and instantly tears fell from her sad eyes. "I'm not nice."

He chuckled, and caressed her face, kindly, "Who ever told you I want nice? I don't want any nice, boring, girl-next-door, I never did." Opening the sweetest smile, he gazed at her intensely, "We don't choose who we love. But I admire you and I love you, even more than I already had. I trust you, and I need you."

There he was, being the perfect hero once again, saving her from the darkness, bringing the light from within his pure, noble heart. Somehow, he wasn't making her feel flawed… on the contrary, she could feel that he wanted her for real.

_He truly loves me…_

Raising her chin, he said charmingly, "I'll do anything for us to be together forever. Will you stay with me?"

Letting herself be taken by some new and some forgotten emotions, Natasha kissed Steve like she had never kissed him before. Or anyone.

_Я люблю его_ …

The feeling was so overwhelming and unexpected, that she realized she wasn't herself anymore. Somehow, he had rescued that young girl's soul, and with no Black Widow's defenses left whatsoever, she was… alive… and totally consumed by her man's love.

The world outside was still a very dangerous place, and their fight against evil was far from over. But in that unique moment, the only thing that mattered was that she needed him too.

And it seemed like he knew it, "I'll take that as a yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the Russian words are correct: Боже мой (Bozhe moi), "Oh my"; Mонстр (monstr), "monster"; Я люблю его (Ya lyublyu yego), "I love him."
> 
> References:  
>  **Ref** : Movies:  **Avengers** (2012) – [Loki to Natasha] Can you wipe out that much red? Dreykov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire? (…) Your ledger is dripping. It's gushing red.  
>  **Captain America: The Winter Soldier**  (2014)  _deleted scene_  – [Alexander Pierce to Natasha] If you do this, none of your past is gonna remain hidden.  _Not Budapest, not Osaka, not the children's ward_. Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are?  
>  **Ref** : Animated movies:  **Ultimate Avengers 2: Rise of the Panther**  (2006) – [Natasha] You were supposed to call for backup. [Steve] I didn't need it. (…) [Fury] So what are we now? A one man army? (…) [Natasha] Things have been strained between us lately, and I… [Steve] That's in the past. I think we should start focusing on our future.  
>  **Ref** : Cartoon:  **Avengers Assemble**  (2013-2015)  
> 1x11 "Hulked Out Heroes" – [Fury] I wanted to talk. You only return my calls if you smell a fight.  
> 2x01 "The Arsenal" – [Clint to Natasha] You read the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. Database? Of course you did.  
> 2x04 "Ghosts of the Past" – [Steve] What happened to Bucky is my fault.  
>  **Ref** : Comics:  **Black Widow: Deadly Origin**  Vol 1 #2 (2010) - Alexi Shostakov, General Pushkin.  
>  **Captain America Vol 1**  #441 (1995) – [Natasha] I do not care for you, Alexi! I never loved you. Our marriage was based on convenience, not affection!  
>  **Captain America Vol 5**  #21 (2006) – [Steve] It was… it was good. It felt normal… right. He's still the same Bucky… underneath.  
> #27 (2007) – [Natasha about the Winter Soldier] We trained together for a few weeks and then I never saw him again. (… ) We were both weapons once… to be used.  
>  **Captain America and Black Widow**  Vol 1 #637 (2012) – [Steve] I understand… [Natasha] You don't. Don't pretend that you do. You don't know what it's like having everything that makes you who you are strip-mined so you can be a good little slave.  
>  **Captain America and Bucky**  Vol 1 #624 (2011) – Sergei Ivanovich, Comrade Dimitri.


	3. Aftershocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Spoilers of the TV show Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Title from episode 2x11.

"Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative." Movie  _Iron Man_ (2008).

* * *

**"Aftershocks"**

* * *

Circa 2009, S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury created the top-secret project T.A.H.I.T.I. to develop ways to potentially save a mortally wounded Avenger. At a classified location, a few selected scientists started to work with a preserved extraterrestrial Kree corpse – codename guest-host – to synthesize medical drugs. Including the GH-325 that was able to completely regenerate cellular tissue, effectively curing terminal diseases in six volunteers. Unfortunately, all patients exhibited mental deterioration and needed complete memory replacement. Regretful, the project supervisor, agent Phil Coulson, recommended its termination.

Tragically, in 2012, Coulson's death changed everything.

Ignoring any previous issues, Fury ordered the impossible. Using several of those alien-origin drugs and experimental surgical procedures, a team of doctors worked non-stop to resurrect the agent. Although successful, the miraculous process was too long and traumatic… inhuman. In order to repair the neurologic damage and restore Coulson's sanity, all his memories about the entire program were wiped and replaced with a pleasant vision of recovering on a beautiful beach.

After waking up, that was what he remembered, "I stopped breathing for about 40 seconds. I got out of the I.C.U., Fury stuck me in a grass shack in Tahiti."

In addition, he was led to believe that Fury had faked his death to motivate the Avengers. One of the few operatives to know the truth, Deputy Director Maria Hill confirmed the whole story, "The death of a common ally is a particularly effective team builder."

Afterwards, Fury re-inserted Coulson into duty, with the mission of handling the cases that hadn't been classified yet. The level 8 agent received a small team and an airborne mobile command station, called the Bus. The downside was that he would remain officially dead to the world, including the superheroes. Only a few selected S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel would know he was alive.

* * *

**One year ago.**

Hydra Infiltration turned Coulson's world upside down once again. And on top of that, after an exhaustive, painful investigation, he discovered all the truth beneath his classified-level-10 'death and recovery' report file.

"Why bring me back in the first place?" yelling furiously, he demanded explanations from his boss, "That program was supposed to be used only in an emergency, the fall of an Avenger!"

"Exactly," Fury replied straightforwardly, leaving Coulson completely startled. "Before it was torn apart, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a lot of moving parts. Guys like you were the heart… worth saving. Now, you'll be the head," the Director explained, giving the agent the most important mission of his life – to rebuild the agency from scratch. "There's no one else I trust with this, Phil," shaking hands, he added, "Director Coulson."

The noble task couldn't be harder.

Hiding underground with limited resources and agents, the New S.H.I.E.L.D. had to fight against bad and good guys. Leading the U.S. Armed Forces, Colonel Glenn Talbot was its biggest opponent. Wanting to make amends, Maria stepped in, trying to cook up a deal to save her friend. They all met at the abandoned secret base called Providence, but Coulson refused the offer, and she ended up helping him to escape from the military.

The secret was in the wind.

* * *

It didn't take long for Maria to be summoned to an Avenger's emergency meeting, by her new boss.

"Rhodey, please, repeat what you told me," Tony started.

As the military's chief liaison to Stark Industries, Colonel James Rhodes ended up also representing the superhero team, and he was visibly concerned. "Colonel Talbot said that Maria Hill and Phil Coulson assaulted him, at a secret base. He's accusing the Avengers of siding with a known terrorist organization."

Bruce tensed at the mention of his old enemy. "Talbot is Ross' lapdog. I'm sure they're dying for a chance to come after me."

In their last encounter, when acting as a S.H.I.E.L.D. consultant, Tony had managed to infuriate the General to extremes. "Yeah, Ross loves me too, but that's not the point," he demanded, "What the hell is going on, Hill?"

"Phil Coulson?" Thor frowned, "If this is a joke, I surely failed to comprehend it."

"Phil's grave was overturned," Clint opened a holographic projection of the cemetery, exclaiming, "The coffin is empty!"

While trying to find answers to help her friend and boss, Melinda May had found an USB flash drive inside Coulson's empty casket, but hadn't bothered to cover it up. "Agent May… she shouldn't have done that," shaking her head, Maria said as calm as possible, "It was level 7 classified information."

Both former high-level S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives, Natasha raised her eyebrow and Clint replied sarcastically, "Really?"

"I was level 8," Steve replied sternly, "Is that true, Maria?"

Unable to lie to Captain America, she confessed, "Yes. Coulson is alive."

Outraged, the Avengers started to talk in a turmoil, "You lied to us!"

"No, I didn't," she tried to explain, "Coulson really died on the Helicarrier. But after the battle, Fury… resurrected him."

They looked at each other, quite shocked, and Bruce pondered skeptically, "That's medically impossible."

Quiet until that moment, Natasha asked directly, "So that's what happened in the Guest House?"

Suspicious, Tony accused, "Did you know?"

"Fury's secrets?" the redhead spy said as ironic as upset, "Obviously not this one."

Talking to the genius, Bruce chuckled, "You said before, Fury's secrets had secrets."

Confused, Clint asked, "But what's the Guest House?"

"A reported collapsed World War II bunker, not a sanctioned S.H.I.E.L.D. facility," Natasha explained, "Fury went down there a few times, but there wasn't a single file about it in the database. I checked."

"You read the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. database?" surprised, the archer looked at the smirking spy, before smiling, "Of course you did."

"Well, I didn't make the connection with Coulson," Natasha added dryly.

"JARVIS could've found him, if I had asked…" Tony added.

Thor said pensively, "I could've asked Heimdal, but I didn't think of that."

"No one did," Steve turned to the Asgardian, "I would've never imagined that anyone could play with something so serious."

Tony was beyond pissed off, "Fury played us."

Maria tried to ease their moods, "Guys, please. No one planned Coulson's death…"

"But Fury didn't hesitate to use it," Clint complained.

Natasha tilted her head, "He would use anything."

Disappointed, Steve added, "You should have been straight with us."

Clearly uncomfortable, Maria sighed, "Look, we were all following Fury's direct orders. The whole operation was a liability."

The group started at once, "What about Coulson?"

"Where is he now?"

"Is he okay?"

"Why didn't he come to us?"

"Where the hell is Fury?"

"Fury is dead," Maria raised her hands, looking at the incredulous eyes, "You know the man." Pausing for a moment, she thought about how her troubled friend was obsessed with his personal vendetta, and spoke with real concern, "Coulson didn't want to come with me. I asked. A member of his team was Hydra, Grant Ward. And he was working directly with one of the leaders, John Garrett." She showed the double-agents' files on the screen, explaining, "Coulson is… he's after them."

"I know these scumbags, we can help," Clint offered promptly.

"No, we can't, not directly anyway. They're… politically toxic," Maria replied with sadness, and Rhodey nodded quietly.

Sensing the other woman's reluctance, Natasha questioned, "Does Coulson want our help?"

Maria took a deep breath, before saying, "He needs to figure some things out. Let's give him some time, okay? I'm keeping an eye on him."

"What am I going to do with Talbot?" still upset, Rhodey asked the final question.

"I'll deal with him. I'll cough up some meaningless intel about that Providence base," Maria answered, and they all agreed silently.

Turns out that when Natasha had been disabling S.H.I.E.L.D.'s security protocols, dumping secrets onto the Internet to unmask Hydra and Alexander Pierce to the world, she hadn't been working alone. From the control room, Maria had started the hidden security protocol called full-eclipse, to protect high-level and sensitive archives, moving them to one of Fury's top-secret bases. No surprise. The old director wouldn't let his life's work to be lost so easily.

Despite the feelings of being betrayed and played, the team was glad to know that Coulson was alive. It was the one good news in the middle of all that chaos.

* * *

**Present time.**

During the past year, the Avengers and the New S.H.I.E.L.D. had worked in parallel, with Maria acting discreetly as an unofficial connection point between them. The heroes took care of huge threats under the spotlights, while the agents had remained fighting in the shadows – both teams in an exhaustive path to vanquish Hydra.

Sadly, after many wins and a few losses, death struck again, taking one of Coulson's agents. The small group was the closest thing he had as a family, and it shook him on a deeper level. "When you sign up for this kind of life, you accept that loss will be part of it. But you never get used to losing one of your own… especially when it's a good man like Trip. It happens too much. And over time, it makes it harder to let people in. Sometimes, just makes you want to pack up and run."

In spite of his own demons, Coulson wouldn't avoid his responsibilities. He went personally to deliver the tragic news to Antoine Triplett's mother – her tears were heartbreaking.

The experienced, jaded agent was devastated, and couldn't help but think about the people who had mourned him. The man remembered his former lover, the cellist Audrey Nathan, realizing he couldn't forgive himself for having caused her such pain. That's why he couldn't let her know he was alive… he couldn't come back. More than ever, his life would be dedicated to his mission, " _To serve when everything else fails, to be humanity's last line of defense, to be the shield_."

No matter what, Coulson would honor the ones who swore the same oath, and died in the line of duty. Trip deserved to be recognized for his heroic actions, to have his record cleared, and a proper burial.

"Can you help?" he called Maria, asking her to inform the family's most famous friend.

Right after being thawed, Steve had looked for information about his Howling Commandos, and their families. Turns out that Antoine Triplett was Gabriel Jones' grandson. They met once, but the dedicated S.H.I.E.L.D. agent didn't want to be treated differently because his origin, and respectfully had asked the Captain to keep the secret. Steve couldn't have been more proud of the young man, and wouldn't fail him now.

* * *

The service at the cemetery was short, intimate, but very emotional. A musician was playing a gentle and somber melody on the trumpet – a homage to Gabe, who was an accomplished jazz trumpeter, and used to play for his grandson. As former co-workers, Natasha, Clint and Maria were there, paying their respects to the family. Wearing his Army uniform, Captain Rogers stood tall by Mrs. Triplett's side, and was one of the pallbearers, carrying the flag-draped coffin. His comforting presence had special significance, honoring the man Trip had become, and the work he had done.

Antoine Triplett had died as a hero, and was buried as one.

Disguised, and from a safe distance, Coulson and his team observed everything quietly. Grief and pain were consuming every single pair of eyes, but as soon as it ended, they left quickly, without looking back.

The three Avengers watched pensively, worried about Coulson's emotional state, and Maria tried to explain, "He asked me to thank you all, and say that he's sorry… But he's on a warpath. For Coulson, Trip was the embodiment of the principles he wants S.H.I.E.L.D. to be built upon, compassion, loyalty, heart. That's their strength. And Trip's death reminded Coulson that Hydra doesn't have that, and that is their weakness. He can't stop now."

The archer said quietly, "He should know we'll always have his back…"

"I think he's not ready," the spy pondered wisely.

As they were walking towards the exit, the Captain asked for a moment alone, and stood by Jones' grave. While Clint and Maria headed to one car, Natasha waited, by the other.

Melancholically, Steve thought about his old friend and former teammate, and prayed in silence. The place was almost empty, when a black-coated man stopped by his side. Without taking his eyes from the tombstone, the soldier tried to contain his anxiety. "Do you remember Gabe?"

"The music."

"Yeah, he was amazing."

"I went to the museum…"

"Did you remember… anything else?"

"You… but I didn't know…" his voice was slightly trembling, but the dark haired man remained still. After a long pause, he spoke again, "My file… The one I found in London. It said I had hallucinations with an ' _American soldier with a shield_ '. That's why they needed to wipe me out… to stopping me from breaking down the conditioning… from remembering."

Those painful words sank deep in Steve's heart, and he stuttered, "I'm sorry, Bucky… I failed you…"

"No, Steve. The only thing that's left from who I was, are the memories they couldn't erase."

"So, please… stay…"

"I can't… It hurts… That's what I came to tell you. For now… James Barnes is better off dead," and as quickly as he came, he disappeared.

Once again, Steve felt as if Bucky was falling into that abyss, and he couldn't do anything to save his best friend. Tears fell silently from his sad blue eyes.

Minutes had passed by, when Natasha approached quietly. Sliding her arm in his, she pulled him close, whispering, "He's alive. He'll come through."

That was the simplest but most complete truth, and with her unconditional support, she filled Steve's heart with hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Ref** : Movies: _The Avengers_ (2012) – [Tony about Fury] He's a spy. Captain, he's "the" spy. His secrets have secrets.  
>  _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_ (2014) – Steve Rogers, level 8.  
>  **Ref** : Marvel One-Shot: The Consultant (2011) – Tony Stark and General Ross.  
>  **Ref** : TV Series: _Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._ (2013-2015) – Project T.A.H.I.T.I.; S.H.I.E.L.D. Civil War; characters and backgrounds.  
>  1x01 "Pilot" – [Maria] The death of a common ally is a particularly effective team builder. (…) [Coulson] I stopped breathing for about 40 seconds. (…) I got out of the I.C.U., Fury stuck me in a grass shack in Tahiti.  
> 1x18 "Providence" – [Coulson] I swore an oath, we all did. To serve when everything else fails, to be humanity's last line of defense, to be the shield.  
> 1x22 "Beginning of the End" – [Coulson] Why bring me back in the first place? (…) that emergency was supposed to be the fall of an Avenger. [Fury] Exactly. (…) Before it was torn apart, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a lot of moving parts. Guys like you were the heart. Now… You'll be the head. (…) [Coulson] You want me to start over, rebuild S.H.I.E.L.D. [Fury] From scratch. (…) There's no one else I trust with this. (…) Director.  
> 2x01 "Shadows" – Antoine Triplett disguised himself as "General Jones", hinting the Howling Commando Gabe Jones.  
> 2x11 "Aftershocks" – [Coulson] He died a hero. (…) When you sign up for this kind of life, you accept that loss will be part of it. But you never get used to losing one of your own, especially when it's a good man like Trip. It happens too much. And over time, it makes it harder to let people in. Sometimes, just makes you want to pack up and run. (…) [May] For Coulson, Trip was the embodiment of the principles he wants S.H.I.E.L.D. to be built upon – compassion, loyalty, heart – and that is S.H.I.E.L.D.'s strength. And Trip's death reminded Coulson that Hydra doesn't have that, and that is their weakness.  
>  **Ref** : Cartoon: Avengers Assemble (2013-2015) 2x01 "The Arsenal" – [Clint to Natasha] You read the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. Database? Of course you did.  
>  **Ref** : Comics: Winter Soldier: The Bitter March Vol 1 #3 (2014) – [Bucky] Hallucinations... An American... a soldier with a shield.  
>  **Ref** : Marvel wikia: Gabriel "Gabe" Jones – an accomplished jazz trumpeter at an early age.

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to work on my Chris Crush series, but this story wouldn't leave my mind, so here it is. Just a romantic tale between the movies, after 'The Promise of Spring'. About family, friendships, & love. Like in all my stories, this one will be filled with references to the amazing Marvel Universe, from the comics to the movies! Yeah, I look at everything! But don't expect too much adventure, okay? Next chapter will be posted soon! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Thanks to my Romanogers friend & beta, Lovedrr!
> 
> And, yes, I’m a Numb3rs fan!
> 
> Love you all, have a wonderful weekend!
> 
> xxoo Mari
> 
> *** Writing is a labor of love. Please, support our young writers, leave a review! ***


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